Monday, August 23, 2010

The adventures of Chocolate Diamondback Pussy - part three (The waiting game)

I can still see it very clearly. Me being stuck under the branches of some tree hiding for the rain. Hoping for the weather to clear up before it's half past 10. Watching the river and hoping for a trout to show itself. This, ladies and gentleman, this is called the Waiting Game!

Flyfishing for brown trout with a dryfly actually involves quite a bit of doing nothing. Well, that's not entirely true. Nothing means: not stumpin' around and blind-casting like there's now tomorrow on the riverbank in my way-to-visible wading-jacket. Trout don't give a shit about fashion-statements. Their primary concerns involve a safe place and having some nice food since once it's there.

The entire philosophy behind this kind of fishing is based on the principle that there is no reason to show yourself, or make a cast without a good chance of catching the fish you've set your eyes on.
Staffan imprinted illustrated this with the quote that ".. every trout has a gun..".

Apart from being stealthy there are a few more things you need to know before you're on your way to the status of legendary trout-slayer. I won't bore you with to much technical talk right now, because I want to take out some time to fill the natural desire to impress that is inside every one of us.
I know everybody can think of people that have reached this expert status; far out of reach for the rest of us mortals. But I am here to tell you that it isn't.
During my time on the riverbank I've had quite some time to think it through and I think I've cracked it. So here we go. How to become a legend in a few easy to follow steps.

Step no.1 Always fish alone.
This gives you freedom to go where you want and there's nobody who can tell about you hooking the trees five casts in a row, stepping on a fish or dropping your sunglasses in the river and.... well, the list goes on and on.

Step no.2 Make sure you are always the last one to return back to camp.
This is a very important one. If you want to become a legend you need an audience. If you are the first one to return, you ARE the audience. So stay out for as long as you can and keep them waiting for a while. This also cleverly taps into the doubts that every fisherman has about the right moment to stop. Every last cast is never just one cast is it? Well, if the rest of the camp has been hanging around the fire for an hour or so and you're still not there, they start to wonder why and start doubting if they left to early and if you by any chance know something they don't.

Step no.3 Only talk when you have to.
Once again a very easy one to remember but difficult in real-life. But, as long as you keep your mouth shut it is impossible to f@#k up. If you get questions asked keep your reply purposely vague. Most people already know what they would like to hear, so a vague recollection of the facts as they unfolded will do just fine. The audience will fill in the blanks themselves.

Step no.4 Do not make pictures of the fish you catch.
It is hard to resist the temptation, but remember that pictures don't lie, that's your job. In the end you're better of without a camera but with a good story. It also helps to casually mention that pictures are are not important to you. Remarks like this, if timed right, really help in building your status. Remember that a true legend doesn't need proof of his own greatness. 

If you follow these guidelines you will have a statue on village-squares across the globe. Invitations for interviews, photo-sessions and tv-shows will be on you doormat by the dozen and all the girls.... Well.... 'Nuff said.


troutrageous1 said...

Wise advice. They'll be erecting my statue in no time.

Rudy said...

Yeah, a new golden age for the bronze and marble industry is at hand. :-D

The purist said...

Cool Rudy you learnt the stuff that will make you a legend, yor blog looks awesome.